At this point everything started slowing down. I had reached the end and I was relieved. Before me a vision of Jesus on the cross appeared, but I was on a cross too and I felt equal to him. He didn't speak but I could feel him telling me I had to go back. I had to go back and suffer because people were imitating me. My suffering would set them right and help them be themselves again. I was devastated.
I had felt this enlightenment, peace and utter contentment but couldn't even explain it to myself. I was back were I started, but I still believe this experience has made me a very meek person. I have felt like I carry a secret and all I can do is live quietly and for my family. I changed after this experience. I feel I am privy to a great secret. I am also ashamed to tell my family as I am Roman Catholic. To be honest I have tried to doubt it myself, but this was an experience as real as memories of my first child being born. I hold a deep, satisfying feeling that everything is going to make sense when I die.