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My first NDE happened when I was 5 while getting my tonsils removed. That event caused me to be open to spiritual paths outside the teaching of the conservative church/school my family attended. Nevertheless, the severe trauma I experienced in my early childhood due to other events caused me to grow in a state of complex PTSD that took the form of suicidal ideation and actions for most of my life.
Dying felt like falling backwards into blackness then it felt like I was sitting up out of my body. Then I found myself standing facing away from myself. I don't remember if I glanced at the bed or not, but I don't think I felt the need to.
I remember thinking that everything was beautiful because it was as if someone had turned up the "saturation filter" on life. After enjoying the bright and vivid colors of blue and white in my room, I wondered what my mom was cooking. Quickly, I zoomed down to where she was standing. I saw an orange and white hue around her body. It was bright. I wondered what she was thinking. I heard her say, "Cook food, go watch tv, cook food, go watch tv," but her mouth wasn't moving. I realized this was her intention and/or her inner thoughts. It seemed cool to be able to hear her inner thoughts and so I wondered what my dad was thinking.
I underwent open heart surgery to have the aortic valve replaced, and when the surgery was over, they had difficulty restarting my heart. I was hooked to a pacer for 4 days until my heart took over. Not sure how long it took them, and I didn't know It was an NDE because I was still unconscious, but the second time I was asystole, I started from a conscious state and was flatlined for 10 seconds, and that was so similar to the first one, I knew that both were caused by the same type of event, complete cardiac inactivity.
My first NDE happened when I was 5, while getting my tonsils removed. That event caused me to be open to spiritual paths outside the teachings of the conservative church/school my family attended. Nevertheless, the severe trauma I experienced in my early childhood due to other events caused me to grow into a state of complex PTSD that took the form of suicidal ideation and actions for most of my life.
I have never ever told anyone this before, but 30 years ago I did once have an experience where I thought that I had died and woke up in reality, but it wasn’t exactly like others I’ve heard.
It was very quick. I had been outside in the grass and I was feeling like nobody cared about me. I was quite upset.
I had passed out for quite a few hours, I think, outside in the dark and cold. I had taken a lot of something psychedelic, as I did a lot back then, maybe mushrooms I picked myself. I was about 21.
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