These NDE accounts were submitted to our website and are published here anonymously. Minor edits have been made to protect the identity of the experiencer and others who may have been involved with the experience. Note to researchers and authors: IANDS cannot grant permission to publish quotations from these NDE accounts because we have not received permission from the NDE authors to do so. However, we advise authors who wish to use quotations from these accounts to follow the Fair Use Doctrine. See our Copyright PolicyPolicy for more information. We recommend adopting this practice for quotations from our web site before you have written your book or article.
My near-death experience began with feeling my spirit leaving my body as I descended into a dark valley where the outline of hills, high above me, was barely visible against a twilight sky. I felt an inner knowing to walk along this pathway deep within the valley floor, to get someplace I knew I needed to be, but could not describe what it was, or why I needed to get there.
I lost my son July 25, 2024, and after 8 long months of grieving and feeling like I just didn't want to be here anymore, I decided to take a handful of pills and lay down on my kitchen floor so that my husband would find me in the morning. I remember taking the pills and laying down on the kitchen floor and praying for whatever was supposed to happen. I guess I must have fallen asleep or died, I'm not sure which, but the next thing I knew I could see my body.
My first NDE happened when I was 5 while getting my tonsils removed. That event caused me to be open to spiritual paths outside the teaching of the conservative church/school my family attended. Nevertheless, the severe trauma I experienced in my early childhood due to other events caused me to grow in a state of complex PTSD that took the form of suicidal ideation and actions for most of my life.
Dying felt like falling backwards into blackness then it felt like I was sitting up out of my body. Then I found myself standing facing away from myself. I don't remember if I glanced at the bed or not, but I don't think I felt the need to.
I remember thinking that everything was beautiful because it was as if someone had turned up the "saturation filter" on life. After enjoying the bright and vivid colors of blue and white in my room, I wondered what my mom was cooking. Quickly, I zoomed down to where she was standing. I saw an orange and white hue around her body. It was bright. I wondered what she was thinking. I heard her say, "Cook food, go watch tv, cook food, go watch tv," but her mouth wasn't moving. I realized this was her intention and/or her inner thoughts. It seemed cool to be able to hear her inner thoughts and so I wondered what my dad was thinking.
I underwent open heart surgery to have the aortic valve replaced, and when the surgery was over, they had difficulty restarting my heart. I was hooked to a pacer for 4 days until my heart took over. Not sure how long it took them, and I didn't know It was an NDE because I was still unconscious, but the second time I was asystole, I started from a conscious state and was flatlined for 10 seconds, and that was so similar to the first one, I knew that both were caused by the same type of event, complete cardiac inactivity.
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